Punday!

[Harbor Master]

Well, it's Punday, that means who ever can come up with the best pun get's their bar tab refunded to them.

[Harbor Master]

Fill-More Night is over and now this being Tuesday, it is Punday night.

Our theme is... fish

I do want to tell you all that how this place is floundering, where only Lupe put in a piece for Fill-More, only Dorella solved one riddle, I don't know if we can keep the doors open here. I'm not getting on anyone's Bass but give it a go ok?

[Long Hall]

*groans*

That's a halibut thing to say to us. Who minnows, someone might actually fall for it, hook, line and stinker.

[Lupe]

The Harbor Master is just baiting us.

[Linette Geraud]

You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.”
~ Douglas Adams

[Lupe]

Casting around for some good ones huh. Well, that's a keeper.

[Dorella Allerod]

Catch and release. ;)

[Lupe]

I find myself groupering for a good pun, but all I get is taxa of the brain and really old hagfish jokes. ;)

[Harbor Master]

Well, enough carping on the same old cutlet, punday is over for the week. Feel free to bring your god awful puns in at any time they come to you of course.

LongHall wins I think, he had some reel sinkers.

Now on to the next thing... riddle night was on Friday, but Friday is a slow night at the Safe Haven Bar and Grill, so I was thinking of moving it to one of the three other nights open, Wednesday, Thursday, or Sunday.

What do you all think?

[Harbor Master]

Well, it's Tuesday, that means it's Punday!

Bring out your wormy puns since the theme today is.... indoor pets

It's the cat's meow today and don't monkey around get creative.

[Dorella Allerod]

I fed some lemon to my cat and now I have sour puss.

[Lupe]

:pound:

[Harbor Master]

Well it's Punday again.

Today's theme: free-hand that's right, no theme, any pun is valid so let'em rip and may the best pun win!

[Lupe]

Free hand? I'll take Dorella's... oh wait, I already got it.

[Roo]

I stood on the minister's left side and wanted so much to take his hand. "No, I thought, "that isn't right."

(My very first pun evah)

[Lupe]

ROFL that was a good one

[Roo]

Said Jeffrey, the prosthetic maker, to the pretty girl, "Take my hand."

<sneaking a late one in>

[Harbor Master]

It's Punday today! http://st-bob.com/showthread.php?t=531

Topic... cars all puns have to have an auto relation to count.

Let's really exhaust this one everyone.

[Akkarin]

I am too tyred to play this.

[Harbor Master]

You know it's Punday night too...

what will be the theme? Anniversary, Kings, or something else?

[Linette Geraud]

Hmmnn a little bit of each? Just for a mixer, as we are mixing together our celebration.

[Linette Geraud]

I do have a pun for a king.

When those around King Arthur's table had insomnia, there were a lot of sleepless knights.

[Lupe]

Groan!

:worffacepalm:

[Oliver Steele]

Love this ?

[Lupe]

oh yes, Please Sir, might I have more?

[Ressi]

Ressi sips on her pink drink and looks around. "A fair pun, to be true. Though it should be noted that Arthur found marriage to the queen to be a royal pain," Ressi remarked dryly.

[Valentine]

This being his second wife, the notorious Emma Froid, who was nearly as much of a pain in the rear as Lady Pyles.

I guess that's what happens when one's Country Seat becomes too cold to bare.

[Linette Geraud]

I just realized that today was supposed to be Punday, and Valentine left off with a funny one.

What would the pun of the day have been?

[Lupe]

today's puns would have to be about Christmas.

Yule be sorry! :p

[Linette Geraud]

I love it! :)

Along with the three wise men, the shepherds, and the others who showed up at the manger, there was also a fellow on a white charger, wearing a suit of armor. But he didn't have as good a publicity agent as those other guys, so he never got as famous as the others. In fact, only Christmas song celebrates his part in the proceedings, "O Holy Knight."

[Escrimador]

Prior to leaving the north pole, Santa always tops off at the station and is delighted with the Full and Elf Serve gas lanes.

[Ressi]

A number of years ago Santa took a liking to jerky. This year when it's time to fly I fear he'll simply remark "Oh deer," and stay home.

[Valentine]

that could of course be part of the new tighter Elf and Safety rules that have stopped him flying under the influence of all those sherries left out.

As i understand it the morality lobby had a few problems with his slipping into the bedrooms of children and giving them presents too. Something about a child safeguarding Claus


And just for fun..
Scene: Bespin Air mining, a gantry above an endless drop...

Vader: Hooo-Paaah Hooo-Pah.. Luke I know what you're getting for Christmas
Luke: Nooooo!
Vader: I have felt your presents!

[Ressi]

So, most of you are probably wondering how the Lions managed to win a football game on the road last Sunday and, thus, snap the NFL's longest ever road losing streak. It's their new Quarterback. You see, he's a rather ethereal fellow and given that it's Christmas season... well, I guess you might say the Ghost of Christmas passed well enough for the Lions to win.

[Ressi]

Unfortunately, the Christmas alphabet has one major flaw. You see, it has no L.

Remember as you make your holiday meals this year to include the spices, for as we all know it's time for Season's Greetings.

It's a little known fact that most of the Apollo astronauts came down with a fungal infection. It was known as Mistle Toe.

I got all spruced up to go and get my Christmas Tree.

[Lupe]

Unfortunately, the Christmas alphabet has one major flaw. You see, it has no L

Noel, Noel,
Noel Noel.

You can't spell Lupe without No L

[Ressi]

That was never a problem on Home Improvement, they never had no Al.

[Escrimador]

Santa was captured by an evil scientist in a small coastal town in california and was cloned. The cloning machine went berserk and made thousands of copys of santa destorying the machine and the evil scienist home. The police report stated that the home was destoryed by a yule tide.

[Harbor Master]

New subject. Birds

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_birds_by_common_name

Don't be Cuckoo or Wattle-Eyes, we aren't snipe hunting, give it your best thrush.

[Ressi]

Hmm... this will be a tough one to swallow.

[Lupe]

you know I had several pidgins in hand but now they are all just like the dodo.

[Escrimador]

Bird puns Eh ? Do you think that people will flock to you on this one ? Or will they leave it alone and leave you sitting on a line ?

[Lupe]

I thought that there would be a gaggle of people pecking at the subject, I guess I might be a bit of a bird brain about it.

[Ressi]

I saw it and I said to myself duck and cover.

[Lupe]

I am quailing from the subject.

[Escrimador]

If this keeps up, I'm going to have to move off at a distance and snipe at the two of you .

[Lupe]

If this keeps up, I'm going to have to move off at a distance and snipe at the two of you .
So your a snipe hunter are you? I bet your out standing in your field.

[Escrimador]

That last one slowed me down a bit, Gave me a nesting urge . Hope it doesn't put you out on a limb.

[Linette Geraud]

Its February, part of the month deals with cooing and billing, but another part deals with the Common Fiscal taxes, where everyone is running to their secretary bird to get help.

[Ressi]

You know, sometimes I have to crane my neck at work to watch the chicks as they come and go from the building.

[Linette Geraud]

Where there is a whippoorwill, there is a way.

[Lupe]

its not often I get to tweet someone for what they say, usually it just flies over my head.

[Ressi]

I dunno, your remarks always come home to roost in my heart.

[Linette Geraud]

They also make me want to perch and chirp the night away, then journey as the crow flies to my favorite roost.

[Ressi]

I fear this track of puns may be molting now, people are coming along and robin others of the same words for making puns. What say you... have bird puns become an albatross?

[Lupe]

yes, we need a new subject. what do you all think, electricity or tools?

Are you going to shock me or socket to me?

[Ressi]

Well, with this topic I'd say we're screwed... I guess I'll have to hammer home that point and ply my pun trade somewhere else, I wonder if I have enough money to take a plane to Miami where I could lay in the sand at the beach.

[Escrimador]

I guess that makes the playing field level. I shal plumb the depths to the topic and take what measures I may to help out on this topic, One would be nuts to do otherwise.

[Ressi]

True, Escrimador true. But while were wired into it now eventually we'll just become board and need a new topic again.

[Linette Geraud]

Things haven't gotten fully grounded, so shall we turn up the amperage and see what sort of wattage we can come up with?

[Ressi]

Sounds like an electrifying idea.

[Lupe]

You know a person has to be lightning quick to whip a pun out before someone wrenches it away from you.

[Ressi]

You nailed that point.

[Escrimador]

Awl give you that one Ressi. But we are amongst friends here so let us speak plain as there are no grievences between us and no need to bury the hatchet.

[Ressi]

Oh really? I'll saw those arguments in half.

[Lupe]

I think we are ready for a new topic, how about color?

[Ressi]

Really? It's good to see that for now this topic is in the pink, though eventually we'll need a new one again.

[Linette Geraud]

If April showers bring may flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Spring is upon us puns dealing with spring? Flowers that sort of thing?

[Lupe]

don't the Mayflower bring Pilgrims?

[Long Hall]

Puns? Oh gods. We must spring into action to prevent the deflowering of our virgin ears!

[Ressi]

I fear I'll be viewing this topic through rose colored glasses s now.

[Long Hall]

Forever looking to combine healthy living with a healthy sex life, the good people at Masters & Johnson have brought us a new citrus drink which they claim enhances female libido. They call it Womenlaid.

[Linette Geraud]

Today it was the celebration of 7-11 where hot dogs and taquitos were 71 cents and they offered free mini slupee's. So today I wonder if today some could say their slogan oh thank heaven for Seven Eleven. Is both tried and true.

Could a pun be found here could one be written? I certainly do wonder.

[Lupe]

...There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

...A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amahl while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother and upon receiving the picture she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amahl. "But they're twins," says her husband, "If you've seen Juan you've seen Amahl."

...A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked as they moved along. "Because," said the manager, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

...It was a doctor's regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home and, aware of his habit, the bartender would always have the drink waiting for him at precisely 5:18 PM. One afternoon as the end of the work-day neared the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract but, thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink, then exclaimed: "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri", to which the bartender replied, "No, I'm sorry, it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

...A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat when he came across two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a book while the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him proving even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.